Canucks vs. Yanks

Universal health care <=====> Unaffordable health insurance

Relaxed drug laws <=====> The "War on Drugs"

Shania Twain <=====> Paris Hilton

Low crime rate <=====> Serial killers

Mike Myers <=====> Dane Cook

The woman pictured above on the left is a Canadian; on the right is an Amuhrican.

While Amuhrica may not stand up to Canada when comparisons are carefully selected, more telling conclusions can be drawn when comparing two average citizens--in this case, drunk women eating hot dogs.

Note the facial expression of the woman on the left. She is pandering to the camera, focused more on the picture taker than the task at hand (eating her motherfucking hot dog). She is probably thinking "Oh, frigg, that single Molson has me pissed up! What is this, a hot dog? This is such a silly photo! My friends will think me a hoser, eh?" Also note her hands: she is using both to eat her boring and basic hot dog, but the task could likely be accomplished with one. Finally, note her hair, which is stuck in a time warp. One might think it is 1988, although the picture is actually from 2006.

Now let's take a look at the woman on the right. While her look may be rather bland, it is clear she is at least from this century. Similarly, Amuhrica dictates pop culture and while we celebrate our past, we do not try to recreate it. The woman on the right has a much larger hot dog that requires two hands, plus it is stacked with onions and likely various other toppings. Amuhrica's hot dog is loaded with toppings (various racial and ethnic groups) and eaten from a bun (our shared country) that always requires two hands (only use one and we'll be all over you). She either ignores the camera or is not even aware that a picture is being taken, as she is appropriately focused on eating her motherfucking hot dog and fully experiencing the ecstasy anticipated in her first massive bite. This epitomizes the unwavering and focused strength of Amuhrica. She is likely thinking "Hell yeah! Hot dog! I'm wasted! Baseball! Fuck kilometers!" and the expression on her face is that of the carefree joy that comes with being Amuhrican.

Score one for the Yanks.